I've been getting a lot of "flak" lately from my family about not keeping up with my blog. I guess I didn't realize anyone was really reading! Just kidding!
Not to make excuses, but in my last post I talked about beginning this new journey of healthy eating. And that is exactly what has been taking up a big chunk of my time! I am a food and nutrition researching FOOL! Who knew how food heals our bodies could be so fascinating?! I am loving every minute of it! My family maybe not so much! There are times I think that they think I've gone into lupus psychosis. (that's yet another lupus thing I never want to face). Not only do I love learning about these things because I know God is going to continue healing me as I treat my body the way it should be treated, but also, because I know he is going to help use this experience of healing in my life to help others. Others who are stuck relying on medications, living with disease and sickness when things could quite possibly be reversed!
Don't get me wrong, I am all for medication when necessary! But WHY rely on medications that bring along more negative side effects than positive action? Especially, when you could so easily try putting the RIGHT things in your body to heal it first!
For example, my mom. She goes to the doctor for high blood pressure. What is the first thing they say? Cut out salt, exercise and lose some wight. That's not easy. So they get put on medication. Over the years my mom has been off and on her medication. Off when she eats the way God intended her to eat! BINGO! Her BP is normalizing so why need the meds? Continue with routine doctors visits of course to monitor. Simple as that.
But is it really that simple? No.
Pop a pill each morning OR try cutting out salt, processed foods, eat more fruit and veggies, whole wheat, cook more, etc.?
I may have said this once before, but I have been on Cellcept since April. Some pretty hefty doses. I need to point out though that sometimes medications are necessary for life. This medication is VERY important in transplant patients. It is also used to try and control lupus. My thought on this is that if I can control my lupus without the drug, why not try that first. Yes, I may realize down the road that I do need immunosupressive therapy again. But that is not going to be my fist line of treatment!
This is why I find popping a pill is NOT the easy way out:
And that is just the tip of the iceberg on the side effects of this drug. I'm not even going to list the other negative side effects found in my 4 other medications. I think you get the point...
This journey has already been amazing! I can't even begin to list the people who have been encouraging and supportive of me!
My beautiful friend Rachel and I decided to start this journey together! She does not have a chronic disease like I do, but is as fascinated as I am with whole foods and healing the body! It's been great to have someone as passionate as I am to join my journey. I will be continuing to post more about this new life plan and how the process is going. And, I promise to be better at keeping up with things! ;) (family!!)
This is NOT a diet. And I will never return to eating as I did. This is a new way of life for not just me, but my family. It is a lifestyle, but not one that I am boasting or bragging about. That is never my intent. It is not about what others think of me. Too green. Crazy. Tree huger. The is about saving my life. Period.
On January 2nd, I was on my way to the grocery store. My sweet baby girl in tote. We were listening to some new tunes I had downloaded from an artist that I love! Each and every song is heaping with truth! This particular song came on and cut straight to my heart. Nothing like driving with my babe in the back just chillin' out, and there I am, crying like a babe myself! ;)
January being the month of new beginnings, the words of this song seemed so fitting to the changes I am choosing to make in my life this year. I was so overwhelmed with His love for me and the choices I can make to change. I pray that this song blesses you as it has me.
"Take Back"
Will Reagan & United Pursuit
(these are just a few of the lyrics that I love)
With the wind at our backs
and in the strength of the Lord,
we will rise on the wings
of the dawn;
We're gonna take back
all the enemy has stolen
from us.
It's in the blood of the One
whose worthy.
I know God has not forgotten
all that's lost and broken.
So come and see the turning of
the tides and come and
see His sons and daughters rise.
For how could He
who did not spare His own son
not freely give us victory
against the darkest of nights!
I absolutely love that last part! I am claiming the victory because it is already mine!
I
am choosing to "take back" all the enemy has stolen from me. He has
stolen many things from me through this difficult season in my life and even before that. I'm done looking back and even looking forward had the hardships that may be ahead. It
is my choice to USE my experience for something MORE. Satan thought he
would use my disease to make me weak, but I refuse to let that happen! I'm not done and am not going to be anytime soon!
I must say this year has been a pretty healthy year for me. That is, if you take a little word called LUPUS out of the equation! In January 2012, my family began the Prism program that has been offered as a class through our church. I talked a bit about that program here and throughout the year my family and I have maintained this lifestyle at home. I say at home because it is very easy to control what we eat by what I bring into our home. It's a different story when we go to others homes for dinner.
Around July is when I really stopped counting calories, watching my carb intack, etc. To be quite honest, I was mad about what was happening to me and I let my emotions take control. Even though it was all water weight I was gaining, it was as if I had gained back all that fat I had lost. Frustrating.
When I stated the Prism program last year, I learned just how eating the way God intended us to can heal the body. My flare ended when I began putting healing foods into my body and riding it of the toxic foods I was putting in.
"Let thy food be thy medicine and they medicine be thy food"
-Hippocrates
I have been learning so many things this year about nutrition and diseases. It excites me and I get so passionate about healing myself through the things GOD has made and put on this earth! This past weekend I got hit with a cold and on top of that the stomach flu! I spend most of the weekend on the couch. Jared took Elin out Saturday morning (he is so great) and my mom picked her up Sunday morning and took her to church (she is the best).
I decided to make the most of my time, so I thought this would be a great opportunity to watch some food documentaries I have been wanting to watch on Netflix. I probably watched about 5 documentaries about our nations food system, farming, dieting, etc. The two that I found extraordinary were these two:
I HIGHLY recommend watching these! I promise, you will learn so much!
My friend Rachel and I have been preparing for a healthy eating plan this year and we are so excited to get started next week! I am so blessed by her and how she shares this passion for health with me!
I cannot wait to see the changes in me and the rest of my family as we begin this new way of life. I believe God is leading me to this form of "lupus management" and it excites me to think of how wonderful it is going to be! I am studying, praying, and asking God to give me the strength to continue even when things get tough. Because, it's not going to be easy. And yes, I'm going to be the odd girl who eats like a goat and refuses everything "good" at the party. But, I NEED to do this for me, my girl and the rest of my family. I want to live that lupus free life that I believe I can have!
We had a wonderful week spent with friends and family! For the most part I felt pretty good, minus the lack of sleep I am still getting. It is still WAY better than it was. Then Tuesday Jared started getting sick, which them led me to develop a scratchy throat and fatigue. I ended us calling my doctor for an antibiotic, (which I hate doing). Jared pushed me to (as always). Reminding me how this very sickness may push me into another flare. So therefore, I guess I'm not taking any chances! This morning I feel ok. Just stuffed up and tired. I know I will be needing a nap with Elin this afternoon. Ok, enough about me.
Here are some picture that recap a bit of our week!
Last minute shopping trip to the mall!
Beautiful girl!
Yay for a white Christmas!
Before my grandparents annual Christmas Eve party got started. I caught Elin over by the nativity seen. Her great-grandpas bible was lying there and she began to scan through it and "reading" it! It was a precious moment to me!
The kids playing with about the only tea set in grandmas house! ;)
I mentioned the other day just how busy things were around here. I was quickly reminded of this article I wrote for our monthly MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at church.
As we head closer to CHRISTmas, I can’t help but think
of what this time of year is really all about? What am I making it all
about? We tend to get caught up in the gift buying, party attending, running
here there and everywhere. Is it all that important?
I am challenged this CHIRSTmas, and I challenge you as
well, to step back and take a look at how you perceive this time of the
year.It makes me wonder how one day a
year can be such a big deal. Why IS it such a big deal? Am I making it a big
deal with all the gifts, the parties, the food, and spending time with family
and friends? That’s all great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s gotta be
something more to December 25th…right?
YES! There is! That tiny babe, Jesus, born many years
ago came to give life! HE is the ultimate gift. He is life! THAT is what
December 25th is ALL about!
We prepare months in advance for this day; decorating,
baking, party attending, gift giving, etc. I am so challenged to change this
CHRISTmas. I want to share the love of Jesus with others as much, or more than
I do decorating, baking, attending parties, and gift giving. I want my daughter
to see me more concerned about sharing the love of Jesus to others than being
worried about having the house perfect for guests and having the gifts wrapped
to the T.
So as you spend these days going to and fro, frantically
trying to cross things off that never ending “To Do” list, and spending time
with family and friends who may not know the special gift of Jesus, remember; it is because of that babe, who gave us pure, unending grace when He
hung on that cross, that we can live life fully with purpose and fulfillment.
He has washed you and me of our sins, completely!Open yourself to that today and begin sharing it! There is nothing you can do to make him love you more or less!
So yes, it is true. I have been completely neglecting my blog.Nope, not gonna deny that. Things have been busy around here. I'm sure many of you can relate. Christmas is in less than a week, parties, shopping, not to mention trying to keep up with my sweet almost two year old! WHAT?!?! Did I just say two year old!?! Oh brother. Here are some photos from the last two weeks of wonderfulness! ;) Enjoy!
Wonderful things this week:
So, this picture is just hilarious! I was making supper one night and dropped some shredded cheese on the floor. Elin and Lexie (our dog) were in the other room. I called Lexie in to clean up my mess and Elin follows her in, realizing there is cheese on the floor. She then gets down on her hands and knees eating the cheese off the floor and yelling "no" to Lexie as she pushes her away from the cheese! Oh my! And yes, I did let her eat it off the floor while getting this picture. I had cleaned the floor that morning if that helps! ;)
Getting the tree up...
and putting the ornaments on!
Small town Christmas productions
Lunch and shopping date with my girl! And I was so glad she let me put a headband on her!
Family Christmas parties and the kiddos having fun cleaning up after!
Play dates with new friends!
And this topped it off! This wonderful couple announced that after 2 & 1/2 years of wanting to add to their family, they are expecting a sweet baby in July!!!! My excitement for them is just too much to handle! So excited to have witnessed a special Christmas miracle! You can read more about Jessica and her experience HERE!
Babes praising Jesus at church band practice. Love.
My grandpa decorating a Christmas tree at church.
My extremely talented mother's Christmas arrangement she made for me and the old cough drop tin from 1904 that I found to put it in!
Had a hilarious time packaging deer meat with my sister and mom. Just like old times at my grandparents. (my dad took this pic. Notice the finger ;)
A wonderful visit with an "old" wonderful friend.
Taking Elin to an old "five and dime" with my mom.
Returned home from a
stressful morning of grocery shopping on not much sleep and finding
this little piece of beauty right outside my car door. Just for me. Oh
He is so good.
My dear, sweet friend Rachel sent me this song back in April when I was going though some very difficult days. I remember lying in bed, (where I spent most of that month) when I received a message from her and she shared this song with me.
Last night, after I put Elin to bed, I needed to do the dishes and decided to scan through my playlist and find a something to listen to. This song caught my eye. That first note to my ears reminded me of that exact moment when I heard the song for the first time. The vision came to mind; me lying in bed, paralyzed with pain, shaking, wondering if morning would come, scared, and mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. When I listened to the song for the first time the tears fell. Oh did they fall. In those moments, I let the words fill my soul and mind. I was overwhelmed with peace. As I am writing this now, I can taste that peace. And it is so good! HE, JESUS, IS SO GOOD!
"Be Still"
The Fray
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know
When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name
If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know
And when you go through the valley
And the shadow comes down from the hill
If morning never comes to be
Be still, be still, be still
If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know I am
I washed those dishes last night, tears streaming down like they did that night months ago in my bed, I was praising him for his goodness to me as I remembered hearing those words for the first time.
Although I do not feel "normal" and am not sure if I will ever feel the
same as I did, young, healthy, active, I know that HE is here, living in me, and giving me just what I need. I cannot fear what the future holds and worry about if tomorrow will be a good day or bad. All I need to do is be still and know.
Thanksgiving was so fun and of course delicious! Here is a picture of two little cuties snitching green beans off the dinner table at my mom and dads. LOVE that they go for the green beans over anything else!
Getting to spend lots of time with family and cousins. Playing with Legos!
Swinging with papa at great-grandma/grandpas house in the garden. It was such a beautiful day Thursday! We sure were enjoying it!
My beautiful sister-in-love painted my never painted nails! I tolerated them for a couple days and then realized how they were clashing with everything I wore. Haha.
This picture was taken on Friday while mom and I were out to lunch! We shopped ALL day on Black Friday! I wouldn't consider us to be crazy shoppers though. We didn't head out until 8am. By the time we got to town, most people had gone home! It was great!
I finally got my Pinterest project completed that I have been wanting to do for a while now! These are my grandmas recipes that I can still remember the taste of. Elderberry Pie and her Cream cheese/Cool Whip Dream Pie! They make me smile every time I see them!
We were able to Skype some friends in Thailand at mom and dads Friday night!It was so awesome to be able to see and hear them all! We miss them dearly but know they are doing awesome work for the cause of Christ!
Homemade tomato basil soup and a lazy week. Delish.
Peekaboo in the bath tub!
Family pizza night Friday and fun washing hands with papa!
Caught playing with play-dough! Umm...where is Elin? ;)
I've been thinking a lot these past couple months. I've actually had more time to think and ponder things because I've been busy healing. I think about my life and how I am only here for a very short time.
Quite easily, my life could have been cut short just a couple months ago. As I think about that, I wonder if it had been, would the life I had lived until then be worth it?
Did I let Christ use me. Like, REALLY use me? Did I share his love? Did I reflect his GRACE? So many things flood my mind, and then my heart begins to hurt. It hurts with past regrets. Not necessarily the many sins I have been caught up in over the years, but how I did not show enough or any of the pure and beautiful love of Christ to my family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers.
Oh man, that hurts.
Just as Christ has washed me white as snow from those dirty, debilitating sins in my life. And also, I know he has forgiven me of those times that I did not choose to act and speak his love and grace.
I am still so tender to the thought.
I am a bit angry with myself to be honest.
I have these feelings for a reason. The reason is:
CHANGE.
I have a choice; to dwell in the past of an unloving and at times, judgmental attitude, or to shower others with the same love and grace that I have so generously received myself from the Almighty?
I heard a song recently that hit the nail on the head. I have to share it with you. Each and every time I hear it, it grabs a hold of those tender feelings. Each time I tear up and choke up.
The video is a bit different. If anything, don't watch the video, but listen to the words. Let them speak to you and change you.
At the bottom is part of the song that gets me.
I have a very long way to go. It makes me literally sick to think about living a mediocre life of love. It's a daily challenge. But, the choice is all up to me.
"The Proof Of Your Love"
For King And Country
If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me
When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains
"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love,
I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word
with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain
as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it
jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the
poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I
don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I
believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."
