How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Song of Solomen 4:1

To all who mourn, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. Isaiah 61:3

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday!


Wonderful things this week:







A great date night! Indians lost, but great fireworks at the end. Plus...Jared got an all you can eat ticket! So of COURSE I mooched! We ate about 5 servings of nachos and cheese, 4 hot dogs, popcorn, peanuts and soda! Hello Prism that I started again this past Monday! I had to have one last hurrah! ;)






Annual fall family softball game and picnic! We scored the trophy, yet again! Thankful for days like these that I don't have to take a nap in the afternoon!






 Frozen blueberry parties on grandmas kitchen floor. About the only thing they will sit still for...blueberries! ;) Who needs grandmas cookies when she has blueberries!?!






A wonderful friend (aka my little sister Jul) ;) She heard I was not sleeping and INSISTED on making us dinner this week. The stuffed peppers were sooo good! And Jared was pretty excited to get a bunch of chocolate chip cookies since I don't bake them anymore. 



Have a wonderful Wednesday!



Monday, September 17, 2012

Lupus? What The Heck Is That Anyway? Part 8

After getting the call from the nephrologist, and knowing that I now had a diagnosis of lupus nephritis, I knew I would be having IV steroid treatments x3 days and then starting a dose of 60mg of Prednisone PO daily. I quickly explained everything to Jared then went upstairs to get all of my medical nursing textbooks out, turning straight to the lupus page. As soon as I got to those pages, I started to remember the studying, highlighting, and rewriting notes on this subject just 3 years ago. As I was scanning through the pages, I remember stopping, looking up from the book and thinking, 'wow, never did I think while studying this in school I would actually be diagnosed and learning it all again for myself!'
 



Here is some information on lupus for those of you who may not understand the disease well. These are taken from WebMD. A great source that explains things pretty easily, without a lot of medical terminology.


What is systemic lupus erythematosus, or lupus?

Lupus is an autoimmune disease, which means that the body's natural defense system (immune system) attacks its own tissues instead of attacking foreign substances like bacteria and viruses. This causes inflammation. Inflammation causes swelling, pain, and tissue damage throughout the body. If you develop severe lupus, you may have problems with your kidneys, heart, lungs, nervous system, or blood cells. Lupus is the common name for systemic lupus erythematosus, also called SLE.

Although some people with lupus have only mild symptoms, the disease is lifelong and can become severe.

This topic focuses on systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE), the most common and most serious type of lupus. But there are four other types of lupus: discoid or cutaneous lupus, drug-induced systemic lupus, neonatal lupus, and subacute cutaneous lupus.Source


Like you see above, there are different types of lupus. I was diagnosed with SLE. This form of lupus can affect any organ in the body. Lupus nephritis was the more specific diagnosis I was given because the lupus choose to attack my kidneys at that time. Joint pain is a major symptom in lupus patients. I experienced that pain in December. Along with an elevated ANA, and later, a confirmed diagnosis with an elevated double strand DNA and titer, these factors together helped the doctors make the diagnosis of lupus.


Lupus Nephritis

Lupus nephritis is inflammation of the kidney that is caused by systemic lupus erythematous (SLE). Also called lupus, SLE is an autoimmune. With lupus, the body's immune system targets its own body tissues. Lupus nephritis happens when lupus involves the kidneys.
An estimated one-third to one-half of lupus patients develop lupus nephritis within the first six months to three years of their lupus diagnosis. When the kidneys are inflamed, they can't function normally and can leak protein. If not controlled, lupus nephritis can lead to kidney failure.Source


I went over to my parents that night, textbooks in hand, and educated my family a little. I was glad to finally have a diagnosis that I could at least study up on and learn more about. 

Here is a neat chart on lupus. Click on the source for a better look:





Because I was forced to research lupus, I told some of the girls at work that I felt like I was going back to nursing school, obtaining a masters degree in lupus!

That Friday, I would make my way to the hospital to begin my IV steroid treatments. I was praising God that I did not have to be admitted for 3 days when I really didn't need to be! 
 

Thursday, September 13, 2012

2012 Walk For Lupus

  
(Click above to take you to the Walk for Lupus Now site for more information)



 So, when I first heard about this "Walk for Lupus," I thought, 'no, I'm not doing that!' For one, I have no energy, and two, it's right in the middle of nap time! Haha. For Elin and I both!

My mom and I then went up to the foundation headquarters this past week to hear a speaker. I was very motivated by the CEO of the foundation to participate in the walk. She shared about the empowering walk, how beautiful the park is, hundreds of people participating, etc. I thought this would be a great opportunity to meet others like myself, struggling with this disease and share how the only strength I've needed to get me through was solely the strength of the Lord!



We decided to create a team for the walk:
"Fighting Strong and Courageous" 



 



It will be a nice afternoon of walking and enjoying friends and family! Looking forward to it! :)


If your would like to join our walk
If you would like to donate

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday



Wonderful things this week:





I went and had my first acupuncture and chiropractic adjustment on Friday. Very interesting, but very promising! I knew my levels of vitamin D and B12 were pretty low, but my other physicians didn't think they were a big deal apparently (which made me not worry). The chiropractor that is treating me said I was seriously low in these levels, the lowest he had seen. He told me, "no wonder why you feel so bad!"
After getting some supplements and hearing how this should really improve my health, I left very encouraged and glad Jared forced me to go, making the appointment for me! ;) I had a rough week of basically no sleep. He was desperate, and so was I! I will be continuing the treatments x6 weeks.  




My sweet girl who cuddled with me when I couldn't get up and play. I was in a state of complete exhaustion for a couple days due to sleeping less than 3 hours for 5 nights straight.




My wonderful sister and nephew who came over and spent the morning with us. Giving me a break so I could just lay on the couch, due to previous statement!



(Found these on vacation this year and thought they were funny. My sister said I needed one! Whhhaat??)

Luckily I didn't need a "FIT" doll to get me through the crazy week last week! God gave me the strength to endure each day, without throwing a "fit" mind you (sista)! :)



Have a wonderful Wednesday!



Monday, September 10, 2012

Where Are You Oh Perfect Doctor?

Something has been really bothering me lately. Keeping me up at night and causing me anxiety. It is the fact that I am told I need to find a rheumatologist. A rheumatalogist is a doctor who studies and treats lupus patients. The reason I am hesitant to go see one is because I have this feeling they are going to say, 'here are some pills to take all your life, hopefully these will keep you in remission. Good luck.' And that is not what I want.

About a month ago I decided to look for a rheumatologist. Talk about finding a needle in a haystack. I found a practice that had a female physician within my insurance coverage who also practices at a hospital I would go to if I develop any further complications. When I called to inquire a bit more about her, I asked the scheduler if there were any rheumatalogists within that practice who favored more natural treatments. (my desire is to have a balance of natural and medical treatments) To my surprise her answer was the female doctor who I had been interested in! I was pretty excited when I got off the phone with an appointment made with the doctor who I thought would be just perfect for me!

Throughout that month of waiting for my appointment date, several people randomly told me great things about this rheumatalogist. For instance, when I was at an appointment with my kidney doc one week, I told him I needed a referral to see this rheumatalogist. He told me he had just talked to her about me the day before. Telling her my story and how he may mention her to me if I hadn't found someone to treat my lupus yet. This got me extremely excited, knowing God had guided me to the perfect rheumatalogist!

Last week I went to this appointment. As I was walking into the building, I remember asking God to give me clarity as I was to decide if this was the rheumatalogist for me. The same time I was praying, I thought what I asking was weird. I already knew she was going to be a perfect fit for me! Right? I had been expecting it to work out this way for months.

Needless to say she was far from what I was expecting and hoping for. She did not really support or encourage my desire for treatments. She told me, "here is a pill I want you to take the rest of your life, hopefully it will keep you in remission, that is, if you choose to take it." Ok, not her exact words, but pretty close! I was so frustrated after that appointment. Disappointed. Hopeless. Thinking I'm never going to find a doctor that is right for me.

On my drive home I had to decide to look for the lesson in this experience. What was I to learn through this month of thinking this one appointment was going to be the answer I was looking for. My thoughts went back to walking into the office and my prayer of clarity and guidance. He was making it pretty clear to me that this was not who was to treat me.

Since then, I have been struggling with doubt, frustration, feeling like I'm going to have to do what someone tells me I must do regardless of what I want or feel is right for me. The other day, my mom posted something on Facebook that really stuck out to me. I instantly related it to this latest experience with finding the perfect doctor and being disappointed.

She posted:

"LOVE living in this! 'Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. If you do this, you will experience God's peace, which is far more wonderful that the human mind can understand. His peace will guard you hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ' Phil. 4:6-7 I remember memorizing this as a freshman in high school...so glad I did...this peace is AMAZING!'


God spoke to me in that moment. He told me to tell him what I want, be specific, and then don't worry about it! Well that's easy enough, right? Ehh, not always. So I told him exactly what kind of doctor I want and am leaving it up to him. I am still doing my part though. Making calls, getting some of my physicians opinions, etc. I definitely have my moments when I get frustrated and satan fills my mind with doubt. But I keep going back to this promise and like my mom said, "LIVE IN IT!" :) 




Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday!


Wonderful things this week:





A new book I came across while searching for some help as I deal with insomnia. I have read through the first couple chapters and am enjoying it so far! Here is a little bit from the book:

"Unlike His Creation, the omnipresent God who spoke the universe into being exists outside of time. God eternally existed prior to the creation of the day and night order and will continue to exist eternally after that order has passed. consequently, God is not confined by the need or desire to sleep."

"The first key to recognizing the presence of God is to understand that God already abides within hearts of believers. Unlike the disciples who experienced the external power of God during a squall on the sea, those who are in Christ have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. All the necessary resources for a calm heart are already possessed for those who are in Christ. There's no need for another experience, self-help book, or another conference. For the believer, the power within us provides all necessary resources."





Last summer swimming day with my girl! And a bit of a blessing that the sun does not affect me too badly as it does most it's lupus victims. 





I won! I never win stuff like this! :) I will be getting my first 6 cases of Izze the end of the month. That's 365 bottles coming my way in the next year! Can't wait to enjoy and share the goods! If you don't know what Izze is, check it out here. Izze, in a nut shell, is a soda containing 100% fruit juice and carbonated water. Yup, that's it! It's quite tasty!










Indulging in one of my favorite combinations while I make my mother-in-loves birthday cake: chocolate and orange juice! No, I am NOT pregnant people. I have had this crazy love for these two together all my life! ;) 












 Then getting to indulge in a little slice of the final product!














 Have a wonderful Wednesday!


Monday, September 3, 2012

Am I In School Again? Kidneys 101. Part 7

Yes, more waiting for us as we wait to here from the other nephrologist about my biopsy report. My doc just rips out a piece of my kidney and leaves for vacation! Haha.

I felt a little in limbo about hearing from him. Since my doc said no news is good news, did I really want to hear something before my appointment that following week? At the same time, I wanted to know what was going on with my kidneys that was making me feel so terrible!

After coming home from the hospital, I had a couple days off before I had to return to work. I was to work Monday, Tuesday afternoons, and Wednesday midnights. I remember my guy asking me, "what are you thinking? You feel terrible. Call off!" I knew I was feeling terrible but didn't want to give up just yet. My stubbornness was getting ahead of me. I went to work that Monday and worked with one of my awesome fellow nurses, Sammie. From the beginning of the shift I knew I was in for a long night! I was so tired but knew I had a job to do and was determined to do it! I wanted to care for my patients just as I always had. Unfortunately, my body was getting in the way. Luckily, we had been having a pretty low census and there were only a handful of patients that evening which made the workload light.

I remember coming back from my supper break and was beginning to feel aweful. Sammie expressed that I was looking not myself and pretty bad. I agreed! Once again, I love my blunt co-workers. Nothing like co-workers who are real with you and vice-versa! We had done most of our evening duty's, such as; VS, getting all the patients into bed, med passes, snacks for patients, etc. Honestly, Sammie did most of it! She insisted I just sit at the nurses station, but I wasn't listening! ;)

I was helping get a patient ready for bed. My patient was in the bathroom and I was getting her bed ready for her. I felt like I could collapse. I was so dizzy, the room spinning, my back pulsating with pain, I was having cold chills but sweating profusely at the same time. I was stubborn. I didn't want to let this get me down. Sammie, who had just got done assisting another patient, came into the room where I was. She took one look at me and pretty much demanded that I go sit down the rest of the night! I listened this time, considering it really would not be a good thing if I had passed out in front of my patient! I knew if I didn't sit down that is exactly what was going to happen. My colleagues would be calling a Rapid Response on me!! (a RR is not quite a code blue. Called when a patient (usually), visitor or colleague takes a turn for the worse, falls, passes out, etc.)

After all of the patients had been medicated and were in bed, Sammie and I finished up our charting at the nurses station. We talked a bit about my biopsy. I had her take a look at my biopsy site to see how it was (us nurses like stuff like that). As she was looking at my back I explained how my lower back felt swollen. She agreed and said it was pretty swollen. I was really filling up with fluid by this time. The back dimples I had always had were filled in! Lol. Since the water had no where further down to go, it was beginning to creep up!

While at work I ended up talking to the nursing supervisor (I'm pretty sure Sammie made me call her too! What would I have done without her!?) She explained to me how she would possibly need to EO (Excused Off) an RN the next couple of nights. Knowing my situation, she said she would put my name down on those nights to be one of the first called. I was so grateful for her and knew it was God working. Finally the end of sift came. I never thought that night was going to end! I remember walking through the door at home that night, barely able to say 'hi' to my guy. I literally crawled, hands and knees, up the stairs to my room. Barely able to take off my scrubs and crawl into bed. My wonderful husband just loved on me the best he could, praying for me and just letting my cry myself to sleep. 

I got called off work the next two days! Thank you Jesus! I think my family was even more glad I was called off than I was. They knew it was wearing on me and that I was too stubborn to call off.
Those nights that I was called off work were the beginnings of some of the worse days I have ever seen. All I could do most of the evening was lie on the couch and watch my girl and guy play. Mommy was pretty much useless. I was having those terrible cold chills and night sweats in the evening and well into the night. Nausea and pain were taking over my body. 'Though there is pain in the night, JOY comes in the morning!' Psalm 30:5. That verse was such a help to me during those nights! I remember crying that verse out to God MANY nights. The afternoons and evenings were my worst moments of the day. In the morning, I felt my best and knew if I could just make it through the night, the morning would come and bring me a little energy and less pain.

Tuesday, my guy called my doc's assistant Tammy, to ask her if she had heard anything from the pathologist yet. She said no, but would check and give us a call if she had, regardless of the results. 

Wednesday came as I anxiously waited a call. Then that afternoon my phone rang. It was Tammy calling. Tammy explained that the pathologist report had come back and that the doctor filling in for my doc was going to be calling me shortly. About 10 minuets later the nephrologist calls. He had quite an accent so it was a bit difficult for me to understand him. I sat at the table with paper and pen in hand. I didn't want to miss anything he was telling me.

He stated that my kidneys were showing on the pathology report extreme damage and he wanted me admitted to another hospital first thing in the morning (one where they could monitor me a bit closely). At first I thought, oh man, this must be bad if I have to go there first thing tomorrow and be admitted for 3 days! He then explained to me the reason for the hospital admittance was to complete 3 rounds of intense I.V. therapy. He said he would like to do chemotherapy treatments to reverse the damage. Then he asked if I wanted to have more children. "Yes, I would!" I exclaimed. He then changes his mind and says, "well since you do want to have more children, we will go with high doses of steroids instead." (chemotherapy can cause infertility issues) I asked him if there would be any other treatments or monitoring other than the IV steroids and lab draws. I didn't understand why this couldn't be done at MY hospital. He confirmed that it would just be IV treatments and I could have it done at my hospital if I preferred. I then told him we had outpatient special procedure treatments where you can go in on a scheduled time, have your treatment, and go home. He said it would be fine to do that too! (it really paid off being a nurse and knowing these options existed!) I REALLY did not want to be that far from my girl for 3 days if I didn't have to! He agreed that it would be fine and set it up where I would go in for my steroid IV treatments, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday. I would then follow up with my regular nephrologist that following week for my scheduled appointment. 

He then explains to me a little more about my diagnosis. He says I have been given the diagnosis of lupus nephritis. Honestly, I can say I was a bit relieved by the news that it was lupus and nothing worse. (even though right now I can honestly say LUPUS SUCKS! ;) He explained that because of my high ANA lab level and my joint pain back in December it all came together and was lupus. He said he was unsure what exactly caused my lupus to all of the sudden "come out" of hiding. At that point, I was unsure as well. 

Just to give you a little idea of what the kidneys do and how mine were damaged, here is a description of normal kidney function followed by my pathology report for those medical people out there who are interested! :) 





The kidneys' function are to filter the blood. All the blood in our bodies passes through the kidneys several times a day. The kidneys remove wastes, control the body's fluid balance, and regulate the balance of electrolytes. As the kidneys filter blood, they create urine, which collects in the kidneys' pelvis -- funnel-shaped structures that drain down tubes called ureters to the bladder.  

Glomerulonephritis: An overactive immune system may attack the kidney, causing inflammation and some damage. Blood in the urine and kidney failure are common symptoms of glomerulonephritis.



Stage IV Lupus Nephritis (Diffuse Proliferative) is both the most severe, and the most common subtype. In it, >50% of glomeruli are involved which can be segmental or global, and active or chronic, with endocapillary or extracapillary proliferative lesions. In Electron Microscopy, subendothelial deposits are noted, and some mesangial changes may be present. Immunofluorescence reveals the so called "Full House" stain, staining positively for IgG, IgA, IgM, C3, and C1q." Clinically, Hematuria and Proteinuria is present, frequently with Nephrotic Syndrome, Hypertension, Hypocomplementemia, elevated anti-dsDNA titers and elevate Serum Creatinine.Source


So that gives you a bit of an idea what the kidneys do and what mine were not doing! Filtering. In a nut shell, as you see in my diagnosis at the top of the pathology report; Active (happening now), diffuse (affecting a large area), global (entire kidney involved),  proliferative (multiplying) glomerulonephritis. Whew!