If I Don't Have Love, What Good Am I?

I've been thinking a lot these past couple months. I've actually had more time to think and ponder things because I've been busy healing. I think about my life and how I am only here for a very short time. 

Quite easily, my life could have been cut short just a couple months ago. As I think about that, I wonder if it had been, would the life I had lived until then be worth it? 

Did I let Christ use me. Like, REALLY use me? Did I share his love? Did I reflect his GRACE? So many things flood my mind, and then my heart begins to hurt. It hurts with past regrets. Not necessarily the many sins I have been caught up in over the years, but how I did not show enough or any of the pure and beautiful love of Christ to my family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers. 

Oh man, that hurts. 

Just as Christ has washed me white as snow from those dirty, debilitating sins in my life. And also, I know he has forgiven me of those times that I did not choose to act and speak his love and grace. 

I am still so tender to the thought. 

I am a bit angry with myself to be honest. 

I have these feelings for a reason. The reason is:

CHANGE.

I have a choice; to dwell in the past of an unloving and at times, judgmental attitude, or to shower others with the same love and grace that I have so generously received myself from the Almighty?  

I heard a song recently that hit the nail on the head. I have to share it with you. Each and every time I hear it, it grabs a hold of those tender feelings. Each time I tear up and choke up. 

The video is a bit different. If anything, don't watch the video, but listen to the words. Let them speak to you and change you.

At the bottom is part of the song that gets me. 

I have a very long way to go. It makes me literally sick to think about living a mediocre life of love. It's a daily challenge. But, the choice is all up to me.  

 

"The Proof Of Your Love"
For King And Country

If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me

When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains

 

 

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love,        
I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word 
with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain            
as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it                          
jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the
 poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I                 
don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I 
believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."