Be Still...

My dear, sweet friend Rachel sent me this song back in April when I was going though some very difficult days. I remember lying in bed, (where I spent most of that month) when I received a message from her and she shared this song with me. 

Last night, after I put Elin to bed, I needed to do the dishes and decided to scan through my playlist and find a something to listen to. This song caught my eye. That first note to my ears reminded me of that exact moment when I heard the song for the first time. The vision came to mind; me lying in bed, paralyzed with pain, shaking, wondering if morning would come, scared, and mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. When I listened to the song for the first time the tears fell. Oh did they fall. In those moments, I let the words fill my soul and mind. I was overwhelmed with peace. As I am writing this now, I can taste that peace. And it is so good! HE, JESUS, IS SO GOOD!

"Be Still"

The Fray

Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know

When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name

If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes
Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know

And when you go through the valley
And the shadow comes down from the hill
If morning never comes to be
Be still, be still, be still

If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am

Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know I am

I washed those dishes last night, tears streaming down like they did that night months ago in my bed, I was praising him for his goodness to me as I remembered hearing those words for the first time. 

 Although I do not feel "normal" and am not sure if I will ever feel the same as I did, young, healthy, active, I know that HE is here, living in me, and giving me just what I need. I cannot fear what the future holds and worry about if tomorrow will be a good day or bad. All I need to do is be still and know. 

Wonderful Wednesday

 Wonderful things this week:

 

Thanksgiving was so fun and of course delicious! Here is a picture of two little cuties snitching green beans off the dinner table at my mom and dads. LOVE that they go for the green beans over anything else!

 

 

 

Getting to spend lots of time with family and cousins. Playing with Legos!

Swinging with papa at great-grandma/grandpas house in the garden. It was such a beautiful day Thursday! We sure were enjoying it!

My beautiful sister-in-love painted my never painted nails! I tolerated them for a couple days and then realized how they were clashing with everything I wore. Haha. 

This picture was taken on Friday while mom and I were out to lunch! We shopped ALL day on Black Friday! I wouldn't consider us to be crazy shoppers though. We didn't head out until 8am. By the time we got to town, most people had gone home! It was great! 

 I finally got my Pinterest project completed that I have been wanting to do for a while now! These are my grandmas recipes that I can still remember the taste of. Elderberry Pie and her Cream cheese/Cool Whip Dream Pie! They make me smile every time I see them!



Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful things this week:

We were able to Skype some friends in Thailand at mom and dads Friday night! It was so awesome to be able to see and hear them all! We miss them dearly but know they are doing awesome work for the cause of Christ!

Homemade tomato basil soup and a lazy week. Delish.

Peekaboo in the bath tub!

 

 

Family pizza night Friday and fun washing hands with papa!

 

 

 

 

 Caught playing with play-dough! Umm...where is Elin? ;)

 

Have a wonderful Wednesday!

If I Don't Have Love, What Good Am I?

I've been thinking a lot these past couple months. I've actually had more time to think and ponder things because I've been busy healing. I think about my life and how I am only here for a very short time. 

Quite easily, my life could have been cut short just a couple months ago. As I think about that, I wonder if it had been, would the life I had lived until then be worth it? 

Did I let Christ use me. Like, REALLY use me? Did I share his love? Did I reflect his GRACE? So many things flood my mind, and then my heart begins to hurt. It hurts with past regrets. Not necessarily the many sins I have been caught up in over the years, but how I did not show enough or any of the pure and beautiful love of Christ to my family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers. 

Oh man, that hurts. 

Just as Christ has washed me white as snow from those dirty, debilitating sins in my life. And also, I know he has forgiven me of those times that I did not choose to act and speak his love and grace. 

I am still so tender to the thought. 

I am a bit angry with myself to be honest. 

I have these feelings for a reason. The reason is:

CHANGE.

I have a choice; to dwell in the past of an unloving and at times, judgmental attitude, or to shower others with the same love and grace that I have so generously received myself from the Almighty?  

I heard a song recently that hit the nail on the head. I have to share it with you. Each and every time I hear it, it grabs a hold of those tender feelings. Each time I tear up and choke up. 

The video is a bit different. If anything, don't watch the video, but listen to the words. Let them speak to you and change you.

At the bottom is part of the song that gets me. 

I have a very long way to go. It makes me literally sick to think about living a mediocre life of love. It's a daily challenge. But, the choice is all up to me.  

 

"The Proof Of Your Love"
For King And Country

If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say

So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love

If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me

When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains

 

 

"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love,        
I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word 
with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain            
as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it                          
jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the
 poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I                 
don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I 
believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful things this week:

 We had a "blueberry party" on the kitchen floor the other night. At grandmas house, Elin and her sit on the kitchen floor and snack on blueberries. Elin now thinks every time we have blueberries she needs to sit on the kitchen floor to eat them!

75 degree November days! Need I say more?

 

This sweet thing spent the morning away from mommy and refused to nap anywhere but my arms! This is quite rare. I loved it even though I had a million things to do!

 

Two cuties playing horsey. Both wearing their jeans and white undershirts. I thought they were just too cute! 

 

My dad got a nice deer last week. Therefore, we were blessed with lots of FREE meat! So far, we have had tacos and chili. I'm not going to lie, it's kinda weird talking tacos and chili while looking at the pic above! ;)

My wonderful sister knew I was having a rough day. I was running on little sleep and handling a fevered, snotty, cranky Elin. Poor girl. She dropped off a yummy caramel latte for me! She didn't tell the lady to make it sugar free (which I usually get), so it was the caramel swirl latte! I haven't had one of those in AGES! Oh my was it amazing! Unfortunatly, I felt it that afternoon!



Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Is Any One Of You Sick?

As I shared HERE last week, I had an amazing appointment with my kidney doctor! He really was quite shocked that I was improving on the meds and didn't need to undergo dialysis. Wow. I have been thinking of that news all week and can't help but go into a little more detail and share how GOD is the center of our healing. 

You see, we can say, "oh, sometimes things just happen like that," or, "you have good luck." But, I see it a little differently now and I pray that you do too. Think of what may be at stake for you.

There are any stories of healing in the Bible. Jesus was the HEALER. The blind were given sight (Mattew 9:27-31), the crippled walked (Luke 13:10-17), the deaf and mute were able to hear and speak (Mark 7:31-37), and so many more! Then to top it off, he goes and raises people from the dead (Luke 7:11-17, John 11:1-44)?!?! What the heck!?! :) 

AWESOME.

Sometimes I think those are really BIG things and God only chooses to do those really big things. But that's silly. I am so sure that there were many more moment of healing he did that were not published in the Bible. Maybe because, for one; he did not know about some of the people that were healed by him. Simply because, he traveled all over the place and people weren't able to track him down, possibly because their healing may have not happened right away; and two; because those stories published in the Bible were those chosen to captivate the audiance with their "shock and awe" capabilities. Just my thoughts.

I know I can testify to many stories of healing in myself and others. Not just because of good luck or "stuff JUST happens," but because;

JESUS IS STILL HEALING.

As I was doing my James, Beth Moore Bible study this week, the Lord was promting me to write about this in more detail. We are wrapping up our study of the book of James. The last few verses in a passage titled "The Prayer of Faith" states:

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."

James 5:13-16

I wrote HERE  about a healing service we had at church before Easter. Some of the elders, my family and friends, gathered around me, laying their hands on me, praying for me and agreeing for healing. At that point, we had no idea what was going on. I wept. And there, at that moment, I gave my uncertanties to Jesus. I remember giving him my kidneys that night. As if saying, "they are all yours! Do what you need to, because I cannot!" Pastor John anointed my head with oil. (Just a little swipe of oil across my forehead). Jesus began working on me in that moment and had continued.  

The passage below, always sticks out to me when I think of the miraculous things God still does through US! Here, Jesus is speaking to his disciples, promising them the Holy Spirit after His death. When we turn our lives over to the Lord, asking him to take control, letting Jesus in as King of our lives, the Holy Spirit is given to us. 

“I tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! If you love me, obey my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you. He is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you. No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you. Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." John 14:12-20

Just this past Sunday, as in, November 11th, 2012, pastor John (my church pastor) spoke of a woman who was healed of a brain tumor. Let me explain a little. This is incredible! 

The week prior, a woman who has been undergoing treatment for a cancerous brain tumor came to the alter during the service to pray (which she does every Sunday). Pastor J asked my mother-in-love, who was close by, to step in as an elder (because their were none around at that time) and pray for her healing as they anointed her with oil. My mother-in-love willingly prayed. 

Ok, back to this Sunday! Pastor J explains that he got a call from this lady last Monday telling him that the tumor was G.O.N.E! Apparently, after my mother-in-love and Pastor J prayed for her and anointed her, she went back to her seat and felt this tingling sensation around her face and knew something was going on.

She went to the doctor, had an MRI and IT WAS NOT THERE! 

OH. MY. WORD. :) 

You see, if he lives in us, he gives us opportunities to experience his miracles just as the disciples did. The Holy Spirit here now, is the same Holy Spirit that was there then! Did I make sense? I hope so!

I also want to put this out there for any of you who may think like I did. Before I was diagnosed, I believed a lie. The lie was that I deserved sickness, pain, etc. because of the sin I had been caught up in. I remeber being so angry with God when my nephew was born with a cleft lip/palate. I didn't understand why that difficult situation was given to my sister and not me. I thought, "she is not the "sinner" of the family, I am." I remember telling God that I deserved this because of my sin. Let me just tell you, that is messed up thinking! (although, I still wish God would have given me that hardship and not my sister, he knew what he was doing!)  

This is why my thinking was messed up: 

"We're like those first disciples who, when they saw a man blind from birth, asked: "Who sinned, this man or his parents? (John 9:2). To our great relief Jesus answered "Neither this man nor his parents sinned. ... This came about so that God's works might be displayed in him." (v.3) James, Beth Moore

God does not CAUSE us pain and disease. Especially, not because of our sins. 

There are times, like in my own healing, where quick healing does not take place. That does not mean God is not going to heal. Although, He may choose not too. In my case, it took a while, but part of the healing I asked for did happen!

I am still waiting and expecting a complete healing of my lupus. There are days where I am angry with God and I doubt his healing power. I honestly don't know if he will heal me totally, but I know that I am going to continue to expect it! He may choose not to and that hurts a little when I think that He may not. But that hurt does not last long because he ends up revealing something great to me!

As I was laying on my bed one evening, doing my James study, these words pierced through my heart resonating within:

"During His earthly life, He (Jesus) offered prayers and appeals with loud cries and tears to the One (God) who was able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence." 

James 5:7

Beth Moore then states: "Hebrews 5:7 offers us the ultimate example. This was God's very Son. He cried out loudly, tears streaming, and God heard...yet He did not save Him from death. An infinitely greater work was accomplished through the cross. When we cry out, our God hears whether or not He heals. Something greater must be at stake. Something we may not know until we see him." 

After reading this, with tears streaming down my face, I started to sob. I began to picture Jesus, beaten and bleeding to death on the cross. Jesus knew why he was there; for ME and YOU! It was the plan all along. "An infinitely greater work was accomplished through the cross." WOW. It sure was. For Jesus, in that moment, I am sure it was so hard for him to see exactly what that plan was through the pain he was experiencing. 

Thank you God for allowing your son Jesus to be sacrificed for us. We don't deserve it.

Oh what GRACE. Amazing GRACE. 

I think about my life now, the healing I pray will happen and thanksgiving for the healing that has already happened. I think about how something greater than anything I could expect or imagine may be at stake. Someones life perhaps? Something I may not know until I see Jesus face to face. Am I ok with that? Is it worth it? 

As I pondered that statement, while laying on my bed, sobbing, a peace came over me. I felt Jesus holding me in that moment saying, "I got this, and by the way, it's amazing!"

If you need a healing of your own, please don't hesitate to call on the Lord. Ask people who you know, that will stand in faith with you for healing! Seek a pastor who believes in the healing power of Jesus just as it was in those amazing Bible stories! Feel free to contact me as well. I would love to pray for you and stand with you!

 

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful things this week:

80's night at church on Halloween night was a blast! Could you just die? My husband and his snakeskin pants! I wish I had a photo showing his entire outfit. But, your probably glad I don't! ;)

 We played 80's music trivia, worshiped our awesome Lord and Savior, and heard about our new church planting coming next spring!

Is she not precious in those little leg warmers?!?

 

My wonderful sister, mom, and I striking pose!

Movie night at my parents house. My mom got out all the pillows she had, blankets and sleeping bags. We put them all on the living room floor and chilled out, "watching" The Little Mermaid and of course snacking on grapes. 

 
I voted yesterday. What a privilege to be able to "try" choosing who I would like to take charge of our country. 

"The Lord is high above all nations, His glory above the heavens." Psalm 113:4

I had the privilege of watching a sweet little boy yesterday so his mommy could go vote.  Actually, 2 sweet little boys, but I could only hold one of them! :) Sweetness...


Have a wonderful Wednesday!

Insomnia. I Thought I Knew Who You Were. Until Now...

For 5 days, I was running on an average of 2 hours of sleep each night. Not fun with a spunky 18 month old taking every ounce of my energy. I am so grateful for my amazing family and friends who stepped up to help and encouraged me so that satan could not have His way in me!  I had people praying for me to sleep, to have the strength I needed, and my God heard my cry and the cries of my family.

Oh, so badly did I want to give up on myself. I was so close some days and nights. 

Christ and his delivering power, reminded me, through little glimpses of hope that came through the exhaustion and pain, that this will not take me!

I need to be honest here. I need to share the truth of my hurt. Maybe not for any one else but myself. You see, I feel that people have these ideas that when your a follower of Christ, and He lives in you, you have it all together. No. I don't have it all together, that is exactly why I need Him living in me:

because I can't do it myself!

 
When you go that long without getting adequate sleep, your mind goes places that it has never gone before. At times, I literally thought I was going insane. I could sugar coat how it was for me during that time, but I am choosing to be honest so you get a feel for what it is like for someone who may be suffering with insomnia. Also, because I want you to know just how God can take such a desparate person and bring them out of overwhelming despair. 

During these nights I was tempted was tempted to end it all. Tempted to ingest my whole bottle of ambien. Tempted to hurt myself, and tempted to leave those I knew. No one deserved to "deal" with me.  

Feelings of, "my family doesn't deserve this," "I just want to go away." The voice of satan was taking over my thoughts. 

I was feeling helpless and hopeless. 

My days and nights were so incredibly long and exhausting. 

Jared, the wonderful husband he is, spent about a month (or longer) on the couch, giving me a better chance to sleep without being disturbed.

You see, I have always had trouble sleeping. But this, this was beyond that. I tried to pin it on my meds, but I was only on 10mg of prednisone and was sleeping worse than I had on 60mg! 

What was going on?

I remember telling my mother-in-love that I felt like I had this block in my brain. It was blocking me from getting to that wonderful place; sleep. 

No matter what I did I couldn't get past it. My nights usually consisted of falling asleep between 10 and 11 and waking up around 1 or 2am. Some nights, I would take a bath, try reading my bible, I would put soft praise music on and sometimes try singing myself to sleep. The list goes on and on. 

Nothing was working. 

After looking at the clock every hour and getting so frustrated, I would cry out to God. Oh, and I was pretty angry with Him. I would sit up in bed, and cry, "why, why, why!?!" I remember a couple nights becoming hysterical. 

I was out of control. 

I would make my way downstairs some nights because I started to hate my bed. The thought of being in it any longer, awake, made me sick. I would sprawl out face down on the living room floor and sob. The numbing feeling that was taking over my mind and body seemed irreversible. I felt like I was losing it. Well, I was.

Jared would lay down with me during these times or just hold me,  as I curled up into the fetal position with uncontrollable emotion. When I was finally able to speak, I would tell him how this was going to kill me. I couldn't do it anymore. He comforted me and prayed over me. And that was all he needed to do. 

I ended up calling my doctor to see about getting something to help me sleep. He prescribed Ambien 5-10mg for me to take. I was excited, but frustrated that I was resorting to sleeping meds. I was so desperate at this point. 

I took the 10mg, hoping to sleep for a good 8 hours, (like the bottle says), only to find out that the stuff didn't touch me!! WHAT?!? Now THAT was a bad night. After taking the pills and then waking up after 2 hours of sleep! I was mad. Mad at myself, mad at God. How was this not working?!? If this wasn't, would anything?

There were days when my mom would come over and take Elin to her house so I could sleep. Even with a quite house, nothing to interrupt me and going on one or two hours of sleep, I STILL DID NOT SLEEP. How does that happen you may ask? I have no idea. I was beyond mad at myself (and God).

I decided to try going somewhere else to try and sleep. So I called my mother-in-love and asked her if I could try sleeping in their basement for the day. I went over around 10:00am and went down into the nice, dark, completely quite, comfortable basement. I laid in that bed until 3:00pm, never falling asleep. Are you kidding me!? That was on a Friday. We always go over to my parents for Friday pizza night and I didn't want to go. I remember not wanting to go anywhere that week. I hated the fact that I felt so miserable and I knew that I could not hide it. I didn't want my family to hurt how I was hurting. I knew I had to go. (That was God). I was scared of myself and what I may do. 

That weekend, after that horrific week,  

     sleep finally came. 

Just enough. But it came.

Thank you Jesus!


Last week, when I started writing this post, I was on my way to my doctors appointment. I was listening to the radio and a song by Green Day came on. Ok, I'll be honest, I like Green Day :X It kind of takes me back to my "high-school-wanna-be-rebellious" days.

Anyway, I was jammin' along to this song and actually heard what they were saying. You know, back then, I would say to my mom, "common' mom, I'm not listening to the words, I just like the beat!" Well, it must have been true because, I have heard this song many times and just now have I realized what the song is about!  

As I heard the words being sung, it was a true reflection of those awful, sleepless nights. By the way, I really hate this song now! :)

"Brain Stew"  

by Green Day

I'm having trouble trying to sleep

I'm counting sheep but running out

As time ticks by

And still I try

No rest for crosstops in my mind

On my own... here we go

My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull

My mouth is dry

My face is numb

Messed up and spun out in my room

On my own... here we go

My mind is set on overdrive

The clock is laughing in my face

A crooked spine

My sense's dulled

Passed the point of delirium

On my own... here we go

I still don't quite understand why I went through that time. But praise God I am no longer there. He DID answer my prayer. At that time, I may not have seen it, but He did. For starters, I didn't up and leave my family, I am still alive, and my husband didn't need to take me to a psychiatric facility. He gave me the strength I needed to make it through. 

One of the things that helped me sleep was that I decided I was just going to stop TRYING to sleep. I almost expected not to sleep each night and nap time. Call it reverse psychology I guess. It started working. I'll be honest, I kind of had an attitude with God. You probably shouldn't have an attitude with God, but I was pretty frustrated with Him. I looked at Him a bit like I do with my earthly dad. There are times when I'm mad at my dad,

but ultimately, I know he has what's best for me in mind and that he loves me regardless. 

I basically said to Him, "Fine, don't let me sleep, I am so sick of trying. But...you have to give me the energy I need to get through the day and take care of Elin!"

A friend of mine, who has been a strong mentor for me sent me a note that helped support my change in thinking. Here is a bit of what she wrote: 
 

As I had those sleepless times, God reminded me that just as He doesn't need money (the obvious) to provide for our needs - sometimes He uses people or many other ways; He didn't need to give me sleep to give me the strength and rest I needed. 

He wanted me to surrender to the fact that He could give me stamina, strength, sanity, energy and sustain me with or without sleep. 

 It was an amazing time, albeit difficult time, of learning to lean on Him and surrender more and more to Him. But as I surrendered to the fact that I didn't need sleep to sustain (understanding that with a human body we need sleep, but understanding that our God is so much bigger and can sustain us either way), an amazing peace came, and eventually a stronghold was broken. 

Each day I would get up and say Ok, God, You know You have to sustain me, I didn't sleep and I know You can do it and You are the only way I'm going to even begin to be able to function today - so it's all on You, please do this thing! And I would start getting to the end of the days and be like, wow, how did He do that. And in that surrender the peace that came, and the supernatural sustaining amazed me. I've never looked at it the same. I'm not trying to make light of your struggle at all - trust me - it's aweful (and I don't know about you, but typically my body requires a good amt of sleep-but God used this as one more realization for me that the physical always facilitates the spiritual - and God is not bound by our humanness- praise His name for that- He can do whatever He wants, however He wants!) And I know as hard as this is right now, you WILL see blessings that came through this time. He IS working and loves you more than you can imagine! 

I feel that would be the EXACT note I would send to someone else struggling with insomnia right now!

GOD IS GOOD!

That horrific time was about 2 months ago. I am still struggling with my sleep. However, I am now able to get anywhere from 5-7 hours. Which is GREAT! I long for the day when I can sleep a straight 5 or 6 hours and not wake up. I know it will come. Just as God healed my kidneys, I know He can heal me from my sleep issues. He kinda already has if you think about it! I could still be in that dark place right now.

As for that silly Green Day song? I don't think I EVER want to hear that song again! Nothing needs to take me back to that place where I was, "past the point of delirium."  

I can't even begin to think about having to go through what I did without Him. He is my only source of strength and stability. That was a dark, hurtful place where I was. I was stuck and He pulled me out, just as He always does. 

Give Him your hurts. Let Him pull you out. He loves you regardless, and wants you to be free!

Days Like These, I Love Seeing My Doctor!

So, I had an appointment yesterday with my kidney doctor. I hadn't seen him since August. It's nice that we keep going longer and longer between appointments. That means I'm improving! Woohoo!

I had labs drawn last week, as I always do the week prior to my appointments. Of course, I looked up my results that day. I was pleased to see they were improved from last time. My urine protein level had decreased by HALF since August! 3.3 grams of protein down to 1.5 grams. YAY! 

As my doctor sat down to talk with me, I asked him just how sensitive my kidneys were to further damage. I remembered at the beginning of my treatments, he mentioned how my kidneys were scarred and that they would be more prone to damage from here on out. He told me today that no, my kidneys are not scarred like he initially thought! He said they were not any more suseptable than before I was diagnosed. Meaning, I don't have to worry that they will be damaged again. Of course, there is always a chance they could be, but it is not any more likely than if any other body system was attacked by lupus.

Here's where it gets crazy awesome! ;)

He told me that yes, at the beginning of my treatments, he thought for sure my kidneys would be scarred and things would end up worse. I said, "oh?" He then proceeded to tell me that he was surprised that the steroid treatments had worked. He told me that after my biopsy results came in, and he saw how bad the damage was, he really thought that I would have had to undergo dialysis. "Thank you Lord!" I said out loud. "You must have had a lot of people praying for you." He said. My response was, "oh yes, I did!"(and do! Thank you all!)

Our God is so good! 

He is a healing God. 

My doctor decided I could half my doses of prednisone and cellcept, but stay on everything else. I was hoping to atleast remove SOMETHING from my med list. But that's ok. I'm very happy with that! ;)

I'm looking forward to the weekend! Fun things are planned and I am feeling good enough to participate! 

Here's to the weekend and seeing the good in me. Where I am, from where I have come! 

Thank you Jesus! 

Make it a great weekend and bless someone with the grace you've been given!