We had a wonderful week spent with friends and family! For the most part I felt pretty good, minus the lack of sleep I am still getting. It is still WAY better than it was. Then Tuesday Jared started getting sick, which them led me to develop a scratchy throat and fatigue. I ended us calling my doctor for an antibiotic, (which I hate doing). Jared pushed me to (as always). Reminding me how this very sickness may push me into another flare. So therefore, I guess I'm not taking any chances! This morning I feel ok. Just stuffed up and tired. I know I will be needing a nap with Elin this afternoon. Ok, enough about me.
Here are some picture that recap a bit of our week!
Last minute shopping trip to the mall!
Beautiful girl!
Yay for a white Christmas!
Before my grandparents annual Christmas Eve party got started. I caught Elin over by the nativity seen. Her great-grandpas bible was lying there and she began to scan through it and "reading" it! It was a precious moment to me!
The kids playing with about the only tea set in grandmas house! ;)
I mentioned the other day just how busy things were around here. I was quickly reminded of this article I wrote for our monthly MOPS (mothers of preschoolers) group at church.
As we head closer to CHRISTmas, I can’t help but think
of what this time of year is really all about? What am I making it all
about? We tend to get caught up in the gift buying, party attending, running
here there and everywhere. Is it all that important?
I am challenged this CHIRSTmas, and I challenge you as
well, to step back and take a look at how you perceive this time of the
year.It makes me wonder how one day a
year can be such a big deal. Why IS it such a big deal? Am I making it a big
deal with all the gifts, the parties, the food, and spending time with family
and friends? That’s all great, don’t get me wrong, but there’s gotta be
something more to December 25th…right?
YES! There is! That tiny babe, Jesus, born many years
ago came to give life! HE is the ultimate gift. He is life! THAT is what
December 25th is ALL about!
We prepare months in advance for this day; decorating,
baking, party attending, gift giving, etc. I am so challenged to change this
CHRISTmas. I want to share the love of Jesus with others as much, or more than
I do decorating, baking, attending parties, and gift giving. I want my daughter
to see me more concerned about sharing the love of Jesus to others than being
worried about having the house perfect for guests and having the gifts wrapped
to the T.
So as you spend these days going to and fro, frantically
trying to cross things off that never ending “To Do” list, and spending time
with family and friends who may not know the special gift of Jesus, remember; it is because of that babe, who gave us pure, unending grace when He
hung on that cross, that we can live life fully with purpose and fulfillment.
He has washed you and me of our sins, completely!Open yourself to that today and begin sharing it! There is nothing you can do to make him love you more or less!
So yes, it is true. I have been completely neglecting my blog.Nope, not gonna deny that. Things have been busy around here. I'm sure many of you can relate. Christmas is in less than a week, parties, shopping, not to mention trying to keep up with my sweet almost two year old! WHAT?!?! Did I just say two year old!?! Oh brother. Here are some photos from the last two weeks of wonderfulness! ;) Enjoy!
Wonderful things this week:
So, this picture is just hilarious! I was making supper one night and dropped some shredded cheese on the floor. Elin and Lexie (our dog) were in the other room. I called Lexie in to clean up my mess and Elin follows her in, realizing there is cheese on the floor. She then gets down on her hands and knees eating the cheese off the floor and yelling "no" to Lexie as she pushes her away from the cheese! Oh my! And yes, I did let her eat it off the floor while getting this picture. I had cleaned the floor that morning if that helps! ;)
Getting the tree up...
and putting the ornaments on!
Small town Christmas productions
Lunch and shopping date with my girl! And I was so glad she let me put a headband on her!
Family Christmas parties and the kiddos having fun cleaning up after!
Play dates with new friends!
And this topped it off! This wonderful couple announced that after 2 & 1/2 years of wanting to add to their family, they are expecting a sweet baby in July!!!! My excitement for them is just too much to handle! So excited to have witnessed a special Christmas miracle! You can read more about Jessica and her experience HERE!
Babes praising Jesus at church band practice. Love.
My grandpa decorating a Christmas tree at church.
My extremely talented mother's Christmas arrangement she made for me and the old cough drop tin from 1904 that I found to put it in!
Had a hilarious time packaging deer meat with my sister and mom. Just like old times at my grandparents. (my dad took this pic. Notice the finger ;)
A wonderful visit with an "old" wonderful friend.
Taking Elin to an old "five and dime" with my mom.
Returned home from a
stressful morning of grocery shopping on not much sleep and finding
this little piece of beauty right outside my car door. Just for me. Oh
He is so good.
My dear, sweet friend Rachel sent me this song back in April when I was going though some very difficult days. I remember lying in bed, (where I spent most of that month) when I received a message from her and she shared this song with me.
Last night, after I put Elin to bed, I needed to do the dishes and decided to scan through my playlist and find a something to listen to. This song caught my eye. That first note to my ears reminded me of that exact moment when I heard the song for the first time. The vision came to mind; me lying in bed, paralyzed with pain, shaking, wondering if morning would come, scared, and mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. When I listened to the song for the first time the tears fell. Oh did they fall. In those moments, I let the words fill my soul and mind. I was overwhelmed with peace. As I am writing this now, I can taste that peace. And it is so good! HE, JESUS, IS SO GOOD!
"Be Still"
The Fray
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know that I am here Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still, be still, and know
When darkness comes upon you
And covers you with fear and shame
Be still and know that I'm with you
And I will say your name
If terror falls upon your bed
And sleep no longer comes Remember all the words I said
Be still, be still, and know
And when you go through the valley
And the shadow comes down from the hill
If morning never comes to be
Be still, be still, be still
If you forget the way to go
And lose where you came from
If no one is standing beside you
Be still and know I am
Be still and know that I'm with you
Be still and know I am
I washed those dishes last night, tears streaming down like they did that night months ago in my bed, I was praising him for his goodness to me as I remembered hearing those words for the first time.
Although I do not feel "normal" and am not sure if I will ever feel the
same as I did, young, healthy, active, I know that HE is here, living in me, and giving me just what I need. I cannot fear what the future holds and worry about if tomorrow will be a good day or bad. All I need to do is be still and know.
Thanksgiving was so fun and of course delicious! Here is a picture of two little cuties snitching green beans off the dinner table at my mom and dads. LOVE that they go for the green beans over anything else!
Getting to spend lots of time with family and cousins. Playing with Legos!
Swinging with papa at great-grandma/grandpas house in the garden. It was such a beautiful day Thursday! We sure were enjoying it!
My beautiful sister-in-love painted my never painted nails! I tolerated them for a couple days and then realized how they were clashing with everything I wore. Haha.
This picture was taken on Friday while mom and I were out to lunch! We shopped ALL day on Black Friday! I wouldn't consider us to be crazy shoppers though. We didn't head out until 8am. By the time we got to town, most people had gone home! It was great!
I finally got my Pinterest project completed that I have been wanting to do for a while now! These are my grandmas recipes that I can still remember the taste of. Elderberry Pie and her Cream cheese/Cool Whip Dream Pie! They make me smile every time I see them!
We were able to Skype some friends in Thailand at mom and dads Friday night!It was so awesome to be able to see and hear them all! We miss them dearly but know they are doing awesome work for the cause of Christ!
Homemade tomato basil soup and a lazy week. Delish.
Peekaboo in the bath tub!
Family pizza night Friday and fun washing hands with papa!
Caught playing with play-dough! Umm...where is Elin? ;)
I've been thinking a lot these past couple months. I've actually had more time to think and ponder things because I've been busy healing. I think about my life and how I am only here for a very short time.
Quite easily, my life could have been cut short just a couple months ago. As I think about that, I wonder if it had been, would the life I had lived until then be worth it?
Did I let Christ use me. Like, REALLY use me? Did I share his love? Did I reflect his GRACE? So many things flood my mind, and then my heart begins to hurt. It hurts with past regrets. Not necessarily the many sins I have been caught up in over the years, but how I did not show enough or any of the pure and beautiful love of Christ to my family, friends, co-workers, and complete strangers.
Oh man, that hurts.
Just as Christ has washed me white as snow from those dirty, debilitating sins in my life. And also, I know he has forgiven me of those times that I did not choose to act and speak his love and grace.
I am still so tender to the thought.
I am a bit angry with myself to be honest.
I have these feelings for a reason. The reason is:
CHANGE.
I have a choice; to dwell in the past of an unloving and at times, judgmental attitude, or to shower others with the same love and grace that I have so generously received myself from the Almighty?
I heard a song recently that hit the nail on the head. I have to share it with you. Each and every time I hear it, it grabs a hold of those tender feelings. Each time I tear up and choke up.
The video is a bit different. If anything, don't watch the video, but listen to the words. Let them speak to you and change you.
At the bottom is part of the song that gets me.
I have a very long way to go. It makes me literally sick to think about living a mediocre life of love. It's a daily challenge. But, the choice is all up to me.
"The Proof Of Your Love"
For King And Country
If I sing but don't have love
I waste my breath with every song
I bring an empty voice, a hollow noise
If I speak with a silver tongue
Convince a crowd but don't have love
I leave a bitter taste with every word I say
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
Let my love look like You and what You're made of
How You lived, how You died
Love is sacrifice
So let my life be the proof,
The proof of Your love
If I give
To a needy soul but don't have love then who is poor?
It seems all the poverty is found in me
When it's all said and done
When we sing our final song
Only love remains
Only love remains
"If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love,
I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. If I speak God's Word
with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain
as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it
jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. If I give everything I own to the
poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I
don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I
believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love."
We had a "blueberry party" on the kitchen floor the other night. At grandmas house, Elin and her sit on the kitchen floor and snack on blueberries. Elin now thinks every time we have blueberries she needs to sit on the kitchen floor to eat them!
75 degreeNovember days! Need I say more?
This sweet thing spent the morning away from mommy and refused to nap anywhere but my arms! This is quite rare. I loved it even though I had a million things to do!
Two cuties playing horsey. Both wearing their jeans and white undershirts. I thought they were just too cute!
My dad got a nice deer last week. Therefore, we were blessed with lots of FREE meat! So far, we have had tacos and chili. I'm not going to lie, it's kinda weird talking tacos and chili while looking at the pic above! ;)
My wonderful sister knew I was having a rough day. I was running on little sleep and handling a fevered, snotty, cranky Elin. Poor girl. She dropped off a yummy caramel latte for me! She didn't tell the lady to make it sugar free (which I usually get), so it was the caramel swirl latte! I haven't had one of those in AGES! Oh my was it amazing! Unfortunatly, I felt it that afternoon!
As I shared HERE last week, I had an amazing appointment with my kidney doctor! He really was quite shocked that I was improving on the meds and didn't need to undergo dialysis. Wow. I have been thinking of that news all week and can't help but go into a little more detail and share how GOD is the center of our healing. You see, we can say, "oh, sometimes things just happen like that," or, "you have good luck." But, I see it a little differently now and I pray that you do too. Think of what may be at stake for you.
There are any stories of healing in the Bible. Jesus was the HEALER. The blind were given sight (Mattew 9:27-31), the crippled walked (Luke 13:10-17), the deaf and mute were able to hear and speak (Mark
7:31-37), and so many more! Then to top it off, he goes and raises people from the dead (Luke
7:11-17, John 11:1-44)?!?! What the heck!?! :) AWESOME.
Sometimes I think those are really BIG things and God only chooses to do those really big things. But that's silly. I am so sure that there were many more moment of healing he did that were not published in the Bible. Maybe because, for one; he did not know about some of the people that were healed by him. Simply because, he traveled all over the place and people weren't able to track him down, possibly because their healing may have not happened right away; and two; because those stories published in the Bible were those chosen to captivate the audiance with their "shock and awe" capabilities. Just my thoughts.
I know I can testify to many stories of healing in myself and others. Not just because of good luck or "stuff JUST happens," but because;
JESUS IS STILL HEALING.
As I was doing my James, Beth Moore Bible study this week, the Lord was promting me to write about this in more detail. We are wrapping up our study of the book of James. The last few verses in a passage titled "The Prayer of Faith" states:
"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise. Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective."
James 5:13-16
I wrote HEREabout a healing service we had at church before Easter. Some of the elders, my family and friends, gathered around me, laying their hands on me, praying for me and agreeing for healing. At that point, we had no idea what was going on. I wept. And there, at that moment, I gave my uncertanties to Jesus. I remember giving him my kidneys that night. As if saying, "they are all yours! Do what you need to, because I cannot!" Pastor John anointed my head with oil. (Just a little swipe of oil across my forehead). Jesus began working on me in that moment and had continued.
The passage below, always sticks out to me when I think of the miraculous things God still does through US! Here, Jesus is speaking to his disciples, promising them the Holy Spirit after His death. When we turn our lives over to the Lord, asking him to take control, letting Jesus in as King of our lives, the Holy Spirit is given to us.
“I
tell you the truth, anyone who believes in me will do the same works I
have done, and even greater works, because I am going to be with the
Father. You can ask for anything in my name, and I will do it, so that the Son can bring glory to the Father. Yes, ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it! If you love me, obey my commandments.And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Advocate, who will never leave you.He
is the Holy Spirit, who leads into all truth. The world cannot receive
him, because it isn’t looking for him and doesn’t recognize him. But you
know him, because he lives with you now and later will be in you.No, I will not abandon you as orphans—I will come to you.Soon the world will no longer see me, but you will see me. Since I live, you also will live. When I am raised to life again, you will know that I am in my Father, and you are in me, and I am in you." John 14:12-20
Just this past Sunday, as in, November 11th, 2012, pastor John (my church pastor) spoke of a woman who was healed of a brain tumor. Let me explain a little. This is incredible!
The week prior, a woman who has been undergoing treatment for a cancerous brain tumor came to the alter during the service to pray (which she does every Sunday). Pastor J asked my mother-in-love, who was close by, to step in as an elder (because their were none around at that time) and pray for her healing as they anointed her with oil. My mother-in-love willingly prayed.
Ok, back to this Sunday! Pastor J explains that he got a call from this lady last Monday telling him that the tumor was G.O.N.E! Apparently, after my mother-in-love and Pastor J prayed for her and anointed her, she went back to her seat and felt this tingling sensation around her face and knew something was going on.
She went to the doctor, had an MRI and IT WAS NOT THERE!
OH. MY. WORD. :)
You see, if he lives in us, he gives us opportunities to experience his miracles just as the disciples did. The Holy Spirit here now, is the same Holy Spirit that was there then! Did I make sense? I hope so!
I also want to put this out there for any of you who may thinklike I did. Before I was diagnosed, I believed a lie. The lie wasthat I deserved sickness, pain, etc. because of the sin I had been caught up in. I remeber being so angry with God when my nephew was born with a cleft lip/palate. I didn't understand why that difficult situationwas given to my sister and not me. I thought, "she is not the "sinner" of the family,I am." I remember telling God that I deserved this because of my sin. Let me just tell you, that is messed up thinking! (although, I still wish God would have given me that hardship and not my sister, he knew what he was doing!)
This is why my thinking was messed up:
"We're
like those first disciples who, when they saw a man blind from birth,
asked: "Who sinned, this man or his parents? (John 9:2). To our great
relief Jesus answered "Neither this man nor his parents sinned. ... This came about so that God's works might be displayed in him." (v.3) James, Beth Moore
God does not CAUSE us pain and disease. Especially, not because of our sins.
There are times, like in my own healing, where quick healing does not take place. That does not mean God is not going to heal. Although, He may choose not too. In my case, it took a while, but part of the healing I asked for did happen!
I am still waiting and expecting a complete healing of my lupus. There are days where I am angry with God and I doubt his healing power. I honestly don't know if he will heal me totally, but I know that I am going to continue to expect it! He may choose not to and that hurts a little when I think that He may not. But that hurt does not last long because he ends up revealing something great to me!
As I was laying on my bed one evening, doing my James study, these words pierced through my heart resonating within:
"During His earthly life, He (Jesus) offered prayers and appeals with loud cries and tears to the One (God) who was able to save Him from death, and He was heard because of His reverence."
James 5:7
Beth Moore then states: "Hebrews 5:7 offers us the ultimate example. This was God's very Son. He cried out loudly, tears streaming, and God heard...yet He did not save Him from death. An infinitely greater work was accomplished through the cross.When we cry out, our God hears whether or not He heals. Something greater must be at stake. Something we may not know until we see him."
After reading this, with tears streaming down my face, I started to sob. I began to picture Jesus, beaten and bleeding to death on the cross. Jesus knew why he was there; for ME and YOU! It was the plan all along. "An infinitely greater work was accomplished through the cross." WOW. It sure was. For Jesus, in that moment, I am sure it was so hard for him to see exactly what that plan was through the pain he was experiencing.
Thank you God for allowing your son Jesus to be sacrificed for us. We don't deserve it.
Oh what GRACE. Amazing GRACE.
I think about my life now, the healing I pray will happen and thanksgiving for the healing that has already happened. I think about how something greater than anything I could expect or imagine may be at stake. Someones life perhaps? Something I may not know until I see Jesus face to face. Am I ok with that? Is it worth it?
As I pondered that statement, while laying on my bed, sobbing, a peace came over me. I felt Jesus holding me in that moment saying, "I got this, and by the way, it's amazing!"
If you need a healing of your own, please don't hesitate to call on the Lord. Ask people who you know, that will stand in faith with you for healing! Seek a pastor who believes in the healing power of Jesusjust as it was in those amazing Bible stories! Feel free to contact me as well. I would love to pray for you and stand with you!
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