How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Song of Solomen 4:1

To all who mourn, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. Isaiah 61:3

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday!

Wonderful things this week:

 
 

Last weeks weather was BEAUTIFUL! 
Last Thursday it was a high of 78 degrees. I thought it would be the perfect evening to carve our pumpkins. I was feeling very creative and found a couple templates online. We then drew on the pumpkins with dry-erase marker. Our friend P let us borrow some awesome tools. It was a blast! 

Elin LOVED eating the "punkin seeds" (that's all she kept saying as we were carving) and pumpkin "guts"! Every time we come in the house and pass the pumpkins she says, "hoo, hoo, meow, funny face!" :) (as in describing our pumpkins)

 
    
Jared and I went to the season opener of the Cleveland Cavs last night! It was a blast! He won the pair of tickets from work. All from buying a rootbeer float! Good deal huh? The tickets were valued at $70 a PIECE! Never would we spend that much on tickets. What a blessing! :) Our seats were club seats and the best we have ever had at ANY pro game! :) 

 

Pre-game feast! 
Oh my have I felt yucky ever since. This makes me realize how important my healthy eating lifestyle has been!



A couple more blessings to add to last night:

Jared's band went together and gave us a generous gift to make game night a fun date night! Thank you, thank you! Too much!
(I love that someone totally emptied their pockets! I think that is a bee-bee. Haha)

Grandma and grandpa G kept Elin ALL night! It was very weird not having her home!
 
 

Every day my girl does something that makes me laugh out loud! This was one of those moments. You see, she loves her veggies, and ever since she has eaten table food her daddy would get her to eat onions. And she does! 
Here she is helping me make guacamole for an OSU party Saturday. After chopping the onions, she began to eat them by the handfuls. Meanwhile, she was crying and her nose was running while enjoying them! Oh my. What a character. 

 

Sweet Little Red Riding Hood. Thank you grandma G for making the sweet red hood and cape. 
Is she not stinkin' adorable! ;)




Halloween 80's night at church! Tonight!!
This is a preview of my outfit! 
Spontaneous Goodwill shopping trips with my sis = fun times!



Have a wonderful Wednesday!



Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Good Life


As you know, I have been participating in the James bible study by Beth Moore at church. 

I am LOVING it!

Each week during our corporate study, we watch a video of Beth Moore teaching on some major points we learned that week during our private study. 

Each week, we are to complete 5 days of intense study.

This study is life changing.

During one of the weeks video lesson, I was challenged to change. (Well, they all challenge me. But this one was very convicting)

James 3:13 Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. 

The question she asks at the beginning is:

 What is the good life?

When I think about a good life, I begin to think of a life without lupus. One free of pain, fatigue, uncertainty of the disease and oh so much more. I think of a life of no financial difficulties or burdens. Where things are EASY and I am living with a purpose. 

Here are 4 things that Beth Moore shares about what God's definition of the good life is.

1. One that saves us from ourselves. 

The good life saves me from who? Myself. I am usually the most detrimental person I have to deal with each day. It's not others who get in my head. It's ME. 

I also feel that saving us from ourselves takes the focus off US and puts it on THEM. When I take the focus off me and ask God to send people my way to love on, my life feels so much more worth living. 

Get the focus off me. 

Be ultra aware of the people he brings into our lives and how I can show Christ to them. 


 2. One with a track record of yielding.

Forgivness = Yielding up. 
 Yielding up is saying to someone who has done me wrong, "I commit the betrayal to You (God), the abuse, the hurt so THAT person can go ahead of ME." 

Not so easy. But worth it.  


3. One that is full of mercy.

Sometimes we need to FEEL mercy. And it can hurt. Bad. 
There are times when I don't want to get into a situation because I don't want to feel it. 

Then I must think:
Is it going to kill me?
 NO! 

"Mercy morphs into depression when we take God’s responsibility instead of our possibility"

For some reason, there are moments when I feel I can do things better than God. Or quicker. HA. I am not letting him go ahead of me, but trying to take it all upon myself. How exhausting and depressing. 



4. One that is full of good fruit.

What am I producing? 

"Fruit is both an end and a beginning, the crown of one process and the germ of the next being present in the seed" 
-Dr. James B. Adamson 

During the study I drew this picture to help me understand how the good fruit I choose to produce continues and grows.



Lately, and because of this study, I am really recognizing how it is God who brings different people into our lives. He puts us in the exact families we are in for a purpose. He has us come into contact with people daily. And for what reason? Ultimately, for HIS purpose.

I am choosing today, to pay close attention to those interactions and relationships. Acknowledging my purpose to others.



Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful things this week:





My baby girl has been sick, waking up coughing in the night and can't get back to sleep. Sunday night was the first night since she was a newborn I brought her in bed with me. We actually both feel asleep and cuddled in bed for a while, letting the sunshine in! Bliss. Although, I do think I may have some bruised ribs, it was worth it! She is quite the kicker! 
 


Would you just look at there sweet babes?! The top picture is of Elin and my sweet nephew last year. We decided to put them in the same spot this year and take a pic! Of course, all they want to do now is eat!
 

 

I made these healthy chocolate chunks Monday! Oh my, what have I done. They are addicting and GONE. As of yesterday. Good thing I am out of cocoa. Not sure if I should buy any more. Ever. 
 


Playing in the leaves with my sweet nephews! They buried me. I had leaves everywhere and I was pretty itchy the remainder of the evening. 
I had to take off for bible study, so I had my sister-in-loves inspect my hair. Haha. As I was sitting through the video during the study, some leaf particles fell out of my hair into my book! Lol. I don't think anyone noticed. ;)



Elin praising Jesus with daddy. So wonderful! This makes my heart sigh...

(My apologies for my voice in the background. Ugh.)


Have a wonderful Wednesday!



Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Do I Have A Deflate Button?

Where to begin.

Simply put: swelling is terrible.

Taking care of patients, I have seen my share of swollen feet, legs, etc. When I worked in the telemetry unit, I witnessed this in my CHF (congestive heart failure) patients. Then, when I moved to rehab, I saw swelling from surgery or injury to knees, hip, legs, etc. 

I then started to experience it first hand, in my own body.

What was causing all the swelling in my case?

Heart, liver, or kidney disease. Sometimes swelling can indicate a problem such as heart, liver, or kidney disease. Ankles that swell in the evening could be a sign of retaining salt and water because of right-sided heart failure. Kidney disease can also cause foot and ankle swelling. When kidneys are not functioning properly, fluid can build up in the body. Liver disease can affect the liver's production of a protein called albumin, which keeps the blood from leaking out of the blood vessels into the surrounding tissues. Inadequate albumin production can lead to fluid leakage. Gravity causes fluid to accumulate more in the feet and ankles, but fluid can also accumulate in the abdomen and chest. If your swelling is accompanied by other symptoms, including fatigue, loss of appetite, and weight gain, see your doctor right away. If you feel short of breath or have chest pain, pressure, or tightness, call 911.

Ascites is another form of swelling I saw quite a bit of at work. I quickly beacame a little more familiar with it once it "hit" me. It was a bit more personal.

Ascites is excess fluid in the space between the membranes lining the abdomen and abdominal organs (the peritoneal cavity). http://www.webmd.com/digestive-disorders/ascites-medref

When I first noticed the swelling, before my diagnosis, it was pretty minimal. Pitting edema, as I shared about here, started to appear, and then it slowly started creeping up to my thighs. This caused me to feel as if I were growing out of my pants. The term "bursting at the seams" became oh so real. The swelling began worsening after my IV steroid treatments. Frustrating. I thought that was going to be my quick cure all. HA. 

My ankles were slowly getting "lost" somewhere in my leg. My legs were so filled with fluid that I had kankles. :) 

What are kankles? 

Kankles are calves that become feet without taking an ankle break. 

During this time, I had asked my nephrologist if I could double my dose of lasix (the water pill that helps you dispose of extra water). He agreed that it would be fine, considering I would take it first thing in the morning and by 1:00 in the afternoon I would be unbelievably swollen again. At the time, I really didn't think the lasix was doing a thing because I was SO swollen. When I look back on that time, I'm sure it was indeed helping. I can't imagine it being worse, but I'm sure it would have been if I hadn't been taking the lasix. 

When my swelling was at it's worst, oh my did it control my life. I experienced swelling for about 8 looong weeks. 6 of those weeks were filled with some serious swelling (no pun intended ;) 

I couldn't sit or stand for more than an hour without my feet and legs blowing up. This caused my feet to be too big for my shoes. If I was planning of going somewhere, doctors, church, (that's about the only places I went besides families houses), I would have to lie on the floor, on my back, with my butt up against the couch, legs over the seat, plus multiple pillows under my legs to make them even higher. This would push my swelling up to my abdomen and pelvis. Oh what a sight I was. 

Another position that I found highly effective was lying on the couch on my side with my legs propped up and my upper body somewhat upright. Like a V. This pooled all the fluid to by abdomen. The best place for it to go I guess. It was already stretched out from pregnancy anyway. Thank you Elin! ;)  

Remember this picture? 
The one on the right is of me pregnant. The one on the left is me swollen. I gained 35lbs during my pregnancy and 30lbs from the swelling. Oh yes. 

Can  believe I only had one person ask me when I was due? Gotta love the receptionist at the eye doctor. I was expecting it. I knew I looked like I was going to give birth. I had a huge belly plus I had swelling to my feet. The poor lady was so embarrassed (as well as all her coworkers who witnessed the awkward conversation). I could tell she wanted to crawl under the desk. I explained to her that no, I was not pregnant, although I wished I were, and that I had just been diagnosed with lupus and was on a high dose of steroids. Yah, maybe I didn't need to go into detail. But hey, I'm a nurse, that's what we do. And maybe, she will not ask someone else who may be in the same boat as me and who may be a bit more sensitive than I. Ok, I guess I was a little sensitive. I did go to the car and shed a few tears wondering if I would ever look "normal" again.

The other day, I was telling Jared how I was working on a blog post about when my swelling was so bad. We were remembering how bad it was and couldn't help but laugh a little. As I said above, the best place for the swelling to go was to my abdomen and pelvis. I was telling Jared how I was having a hard time figuring out how to describe the swelling happening to my "lower" parts. So, I asked him to help me out. Lol. His response? "Umm, you were puffed shut." I laughed and laughed! Yup. He was exactly right. Puffed shut for a month. Poor guy. Need I say more?

 Here is Elin. Chillin' out in her car just like her mommy had to! She's much cuter though!

This is how I looked whenever I would have to drive somewhere (well, my right leg on the peddles of course). My left leg would be up at the window. If I would have to go multiple places, I would allow myself extra time so I could recline and put both my feet up to decrease the swelling.

When I was younger my mom would NEVER let us put our feet on the dash. This time, I was able to get away with it! She let me! Lol. I remember one time she was driving me somewhere when I needed to have my legs up. She said, "you know Rach, I've been learning a lot from you lately, and I won't look down on another person with their feet up on the dash again. Who knows what they are going through!" I laughed and thanked her again for letting me put my feet on the dash. I know it was tough for her to let me. ;) 

There were days where I resorted to wearing my support hose and tied my shoe laces very tightly when I had to go out to push the fluid up. Other days, my flip flops were my best friend. Even in 40 degree weather.

My current status: I no longer have swelling. And no longer have to take lasix. It lasted much longer than I thought, but praise the Lord I am no longer living as if I were pregnant again! That was an awful time for us, and I am so grateful it is over. 

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Be Still.





I love that when I am weak, He is strong. When I don't have the strength to fight this battle, He will fight it for me. He's got this. 
He's got ME!
What is it that you need to let Him fight for you today?


Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday

Wonderful things this week:






 Lunch at Applebee's last week with Elin, my sis, nephew and mom! 
A fundraiser was being held to support a sweet little girl, 8 years old, who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. Please pray for this young girl and her family!  




 I had the opportunity to teach my lupus support group on Monday. I was so glad I was able to do so! I miss being a nurse and educating patients, so this was very fun for me! Although it is always an enjoyable and educational night with our regular attenders, I don't understand how there are only ever 3 people that come and that I am the only one under 50? Lupus strikes women between 20-30 years old. How can we reach these ladies to get the support and education they need? Something I am passionate about!




 Yay for fall! I love fall. Elin says 'CHEEEESE' as soon as I pull out my phone to take a picture! 
LOVE IT! 




Happy 7th Anniversary! I love him. 


 

 We had a blast on our date night Saturday celebrating our anniversary. We went to an AWESOME restaurant where we started out with delicious warm artisan bread dipped in EVOO and balsamic glaze for our "7th" anniversary! Fun! I also indulged in a glass of pinot noir which was oh so tasty. Jared had a fresh mozzarella pizza with basil leaves on homemade dough. This surprised me because he usually is such a meat eater! I had whole wheat penne (I was so excited to see that I could choose whole wheat pasta) topped with grilled red and yellow peppers, onion, and spicy sausage, coated in a balsamic reduction and sprinkled with fresh grated parmesan cheese! YUMMO! Can you totally see my love for food by these descriptions?!?  




After our wonderful dinner, we headed to Starbucks to get a couple coffee's. I had a gift card and a bag of ground coffee we had finished at my parents the previous night. (If you take the empty bag in, you get a FREE tall drip coffee) YES!
Our final stop was to see the movie Taken 2. We had seen the first one and thought it was really good, so we of course wanted to see the follow up movie. Oh dear me. I have been having heart palpitations throughout my normal days, without an intense movie. Can you imagine what I was going through!?! I was literally on the edge of my seat most of the time, asking Jared who's idea it was to see this movie because I was sure I was going to have a heart attack! It was as good as the first by the way! ;)
  



We had a family photo shoot last friday at my parents home. We had such a fun time! This is the first time our whole family has done professional photos! I cannot wait to see the rest and share them with you!





Have a wonderful Wednesday!



Monday, October 15, 2012

For Better For Worse, Sickness Or Health

Today, Jared and I celebrate 7 wonderful years of marriage!

Today, I celebrate and amazing husband, father, caregiver, friend, encourager, on and on I could go. 

Simply put: an incredible man of God. 

I decided to take a look back, way back, into the beginnings of US. 

I was an energetic, emotional, creative, junior high school girl infatuated with a boy! ;) He was laid back, quiet, soft spoken, hot older man. Haha, ok, as in "older man" I mean high school student. Quite hot yes, and still. 

As we celebrate the commitment we made on this day 7 years ago, I can't help but think if I had known at that time the way my health would go, would things have changed? Would I have told him that I could not let his life take that route of having to take care of a "sick" wife the rest of his days?

Jared did not know on or wedding day that he would all too soon know what it truly meant to love me, comfort me, honor and keep me in sickness and in health. 

I know that he would not have it any other way. My supporter and earthly strength.  

He is amazing!

This morning, I watched our wedding video and jotted down some of the words spoken by Pastor Eric B. during our ceremony. The words he spoke are intertwined with photos of our many years. Enjoy!
 
 
  Enjoy differences. Those differences complete you. 



Cherish the fact that God has given you each other to complete you. 
  
As life and reality come at you, grow with one another.



Hang on to one another tightly when trials come, because they will come.


The closer you each remain in Christ, the closer you will remain close as a couple. 


He has joined you as one. This is the day you become one, emotionally , physically, emotionally. Hand in hand you are entering marriage. 


Hand in hand you are stepping out in faith for this awesome journey as being one.



In the years ahead you will need those hands those hands will be both hands strength and of tenderness.

 
 Be firm in your commitment, don't let your grip become week.



Be flexible as you go through change. Hold each others hands with tenderness. Remember, you don't walk this path alone. 



There is also the out stretched hand of Jesus, who is binding the two of you together now. 



I Jared, take you Rachel, to be my wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better and for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness or in health to love and to cherish till death do us part. I pledge to you my faithfulness. 



 This ring is a gift to you, as a symbol of my unending love.


 

The same father who gave each of you life individually, is now giving to one another so you can now live as one. 



The two shall become one. 



May the One in whose name you are joined, who worked in your lives as individuals, continue to walk with you in a new light together. 



 What God has joined together, let no one separate. 



As God made you one on this day, may He continue to keep you as one. May you always be aware of His presence, His bond, His love, and His grace. 



Happy 7 years babe!

I love you forever.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Wonderful Wednesday On Thursday...Oops!



Wonderful things this week:




We were able to spend a wonderful evening with Jared's grandma, who we don't get to see much of! She came in town because her daughter Jackie, who lives in California, came for a visit! Elin got to see two aunties and her great-grandma. It was a fun evening! 



That night also happened to be the celebration of my father-in-love's birthday. We somehow managed to get all the grandkids in the pic! (notice Elin eating a piece of bread. Of course. Best way to get that girl still ;)


  
So, I have a bit of explaining to do in this picture. It literally made me LOL once I realized what I had written.
 I had a rough week last week as far as sleep goes. Insomnia was back, full swing, but I was determined to keep up with my James study. During one particular day, Beth Moore asks us to write what James 1:19 is commanding us to do. This is what I wrote. (notice #2) Oh dear! It gave me a good laugh at least! ;)  



As of Sunday, my sleeping has really improved. I was able to stay up with my honey and watch our show, Parenthood, while indulging in some popcorn and Izze! Oh, and our little moocher joined us!

  

 Even though I had a terrible night of sleeping, I was given just enough strength to take my Elin to the zoo (with the help of my mother-in-love and sister-in-loves).
 I had just told Jared Wednesday night that he needed to take the next day off work because we hadn't taken Elin to the zoo yet. Since I hadn't been able to this spring/summer. It was going to be the last warm sunny day this year. He of course couldn't take off on such quick notice. At least I tried! The next morning I get a message from my sister-in-love asking if we wanted to join her, taking a trip to the zoo! I had maybe slept 3 hours that night but decided I could either be miserable at home or go to the zoo, still feeling miserable but being busy and not focusing on it. We went, and it was a BLAST! Although, I was pretty miserable that night, it was totally worth it!

 


I just have to say I thought this picture was so cute/funny. A rose between many thorns! Haha. My sister and her husband, hosted an OSU party Saturday. Elin wanted to sit by her buddy, JC. (my surprise because she really doesn't like guys at ALL, except family) Well, she must be warming up to them! :) I love how they all are focused on her!


  Have a wonderful Wednesday...(or Thursday)!